Saturday, December 31, 2005
My new year's resolution: lose control, repel any form of dictatorship over my own identity.
My new year's resolution: lose control, repel any form of dictatorship over my own identity. 
Life and death are so close. 
The word winter comes from the old Germanic word wintar, meaning "time of water". 
Immer wenn ich Zug fahr, muss ich an dich denken... 
The first snow this year. 
My grandma has some serious steez. One of them is her Sauerbraten. Even though I finally got some kind of recipe, I already know: It takes a minute to learn but a lifetime to master. 
Driving around at dawn, through the area you grew up, a fine mist in the air. 
Holy Eve. 
Our Couch is very old and has holes. Since it cannot be repaired, my parents cover it up with blankets. Every time I sleep there, I kick away the blankets and the holes gets bigger. They are getting a new couch soon. 
Our yearly extended-family-christmas-eating-goose-ritual. Rotkohl, Bratapfel, Gans, Klösse und Sosse. 
The dome of Cologne. One of those human creations that seems to stand there forever-ever. He does not care much about the worries of the passersby, believe me i have watched him. 
I am not sure if there is a better way to channel your creative energies, but Dortmund has the highest christmas tree in the world - once again. Quite ironically, they only use trees that are too tall to be sold. That which we exclude from our homes, we try to build world records with. 
That's me, flying home for the holidays. I even had tomato juice during the flight - just to be sure that i really am on a plane. 
My first English sunday roast. 
Something hit the street light opposite my window, it crashed into the hedge. 
Christmas shopping madness. I am always astonished how buying presents for your loved ones, can turn into mass hysteria. 
My last day of school for this year - walking through an empty hallway, listening to Chopin's Nocturnes. 
Today, I decided i want to be in love with an image. Conforming to norms completely does not neccessarily mean that one cannot feel anything - at least, it is worth a try. 
I visited empty artist studios. I found a pair of artist shoes. 
Walking home at night, captured by the spectacle, with another meaningless gesture added on top of it. 
Please do not tell me there are no surprises in mass production: A metaphysical cookie! You could contemplate on it for hours. I just ate it. 
Near the area I live, there is Broadway Market. Neither filled with überhip kids nor overprotective parents, this small street is a nice space inbetween. 
I went out with my friend Simon, had too much cider and met Hedi Slimane. If squirrels would wear Dior they would be the ultimate contemporary figure of the urbain. Lesson learned: 
There is always a boy sitting at the fence, watching the others play. 
Pressing the shutter release is like holding your breath for a second. But not to the point of killing yourself, thank you. It's just a state of suspended emotion. I just stop breathing during that moment. And when I see the images, I come back to life. It's like rising from the dead. 
I want to buy freedoms and stuff. 
Part of a long day in the library. If you read the wrong books, you get funny ideas. 
Stripping away layers, creating a romance, dancing with the spectacle. 
Many efforts are made at creating a bizarre parade of spectacles and rituals surrounding christmas - maybe the magic of it lies exactly in this multitude of mere attempts. 
Empty rooms produce a degree of serenity and this nice smell of - nothingness. 
Humans are funny little creatures. November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007
